Sonia Stone

SONIA BALHATCHET (Eulogy)

(Nee Stone)

I should like to say a few words about my dear mother-in-law, Sonia, on behalf of her sons Nicholas and Anthony.

For the last 14 years of her life Sonia lived quietly and contentedly amongst her friends at Elmhurst Court. A much loved mother and grandmother. These simple facts reveal nothing about the rich life she led and the wonderful contribution she made to the lives of many who knew her.

She was born in London in 1916 and at that age was an unknowing witness to the First World War in which her father and uncle served. When the war ended she travelled with her mother, Daphne, and father, Walter Stone, to South Africa; her father in the futile pursuit of gold in the remote mining areas. However, he had no success with this and along with other problems her parents? marriage broke down.

Her mother then took her to Paris where they lived in fairly impecunious circumstances, moving from one apartment to another but making many friends along the way. Living in Paris as a young girl was a rich experience and one which influenced her all her life. She became a fluent French speaker and enjoyed all the childhood delights that such a vibrant city could offer in the 1920s. As a result of this peripatetic existence she and her mother established a close bond, one which lasted until her mother?s untimely death in 1951.

Back in England in the 1930s mother and daughter still travelled from place to place. Her mother was now with a new partner, Eric, who managed to provide some stability.

On one occasion they lived at the Hind Head Hotel in Bray and here the artist Sir Alfred Munnings painted her mother and the landlord, Barry Neame, drinking coffee outside on a beautiful summer?s day. By this time Sonia had grown into a beautiful young woman with a love of nature, music, literature, all of which was bonded by a delightful sense of humour. As a result of her unsettled childhood and her gregarious nature she made friends easily, some friendships lasting over a lifetime.

She married Ernle Woollcombe in 1940. During the war she was a nurse at Stoke Mandeville Hospital and later an ambulance driver. These were hard years for everyone and particularly for a young wife with a husband serving in Burma. However, she and her mother, close as ever, offered each other mutual support which helped them live through the bombing of Exeter.

After the war she and Ernle settled in Plymouth where Anthony and Nicholas were born in 1947. However, there still was no settled life and after many army moves, Ernle was posted to Singapore for three years. And so in 1952 the family embarked on the ship Empire Windrush to start a new life in a country where there was no rationing, just a heady mix of cultures, religions, cuisines and politics. It was a wonderful time in Sonia?s life and very different from the one in England. For a while she worked for Radio Malaya in various roles, as newsreader, actress, games show panellist and most importantly, for Nicholas and Tony, the host of the children?s show. This fact alone meant the boys had many new friends.

It was during this time also that her love of animals came to the fore.

Two abandoned dogs were adopted, housed, fed and loved. So much so that the boys would dress them up in underpants and socks and send them in to join in their parent?s parties. They would be returned with some food in their mouths but sadly only crumbs would remain on their return.

Although these were happy times there were occasions when events took an unhappy turn. One such time was when the cook, Anto, was charged with a serious offence. It soon became clear that there was no truth in the allegation. The charge was based on ethnic rivalries, which Sonia soon realised. Her sense of justice meant that she could not let the cook be isolated and so hired a female barrister to defend him and after a torrid trial he was acquitted. This was largely due to Sonia?s intervention to see that justice was done. This is but one example of how strong her support would be for what she thought was right.

On their return to England, via the troopship Empire Orwell, they once again moved from one army camp to another and re-established relationships with family and friends and of course made many new ones. Some of whom are here today.

Through all this constant change Sonia was the rock of the family, her humour and her love kept everything and everyone together. Although she managed the home she also enjoyed meeting people whether at parties or hostelries. She enjoyed a drink but never in excess, and certainly not since, when as a young woman, she had once sampled the delights of Devonshire scrumpy and found herself in the Ladies, combing the feathers of her cap and then wondered where her legs had gone.

However, Christmas was another matter. It was a tradition to pour a miniature bottle of brandy into a tablespoon and then light a match under it and when alight pour it over the Christmas pudding. On this occasion Ernle had lit a small forest of matches and the brandy had still not caught fire. Sonia gave a gasp and apologised profusely saying that she had used the brandy for ?medicinal purposes? and then refilled it with cold tea. The homemade brandy butter remained untouched!

Sadly during the 1960s the marriage of Ernle and Sonia collapsed and she now entered the most difficult period of her life. A period when she had to look after two teenage boys, find a home and start a new life. All this happened in her late forties with no job and little experience. These were times of great hardship and poverty as well as heartbreak. She survived through her own stoicism, strength, determination and her never failing sense of humour. Other members of the family rallied round and gave what support they could.

She eventually found work and established a secure home in Fulham but life was not easy, debt was never far away but gradually she rebuilt her life. She became the receptionist of Philip Balhatchet and in due course they married. Philip originally came from Ipswich and so they bought a house in Playford and eventually settled there. Here she enjoyed a time of stability and security in the beautiful Suffolk countryside.

After Philip?s death in 1992 she moved to Elmhurst Court where she spent many happy years. Her pleasures were simple, doing crossword puzzles, attending coffee mornings and reading thrillers, particularly by Ruth Rendell, but most of all she loved the animals and birds that would pop by her window. Each one had a name and from that a distinct personality. Thelma the Thrush and Robbie the Robin were welcome guests.

One of the pleasures she enjoyed most was a good pub lunch at one of the many beautiful hostelries around Woodbridge. She was now a grandmother, and loved the contact she had with her family both in England and Australia.

She had a long and largely happy life and spent the last years amongst good friends and a loving family. She came from a generation that knew hardship, war, fear, laughter and rapid change but which survived and became role models for future generations. We will not see their like again.

(NW)